Saturday, April 30, 2011

cuz i'm a medic student..(T__T)

- You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for, and realise you’ll get a medical doctor title the same time your friend gets a PhD doctor title.

- You contemplate anything between dropping out and suicide after you finish each exam, even before knowing the results.

- You get depressed and emotional just thinking about how bad a doctor you’ll become in a few years.

- You answer every question with, “Hmm (pretending to think for a second), I don’t know.” And you know the most correct answer is, “It depends, sir.”

- You diagnose every single abnormality on yourself/family/friends as a life-threatening condition. You think the tiny haematoma on your finger is a risk for PE (Pulmonary Embolism). (In due time XD)

- You watch House and ER, and think you can score in the exams and get through medical school. Wrong, only Dr.Wikipedia helps.

- You instantly feel that you want to bang your head against the wall whenever someone says “You’re a medical student? You must be very smart then!”, because it’s an unbearable accusation. (SO TRUE)

- You work out so that you get a six pack, so that you will make a good simulated patient for the seniors. (Interesting..)

- Your friend/cousin zooms in front of you with his brand new car and treats you to lunch with his own paycheck and on top of that, talks about property and houses to buy. And you’re still struggling to buy second hand reference books. (T.T)

- You have exams in a few days and when you try doing practice questions, you don’t know what to do with your pen besides underlining the key words in the question.

- Conversations with people involve “So tell me what happened.”, “So how does that make you feel?”, and “I understand it must be very difficult for you.” (That's BS for you ;D)

- You have a peak moment in life when a senior says “good” or “well done”; it’s so relieving to know you’re not a complete drain on society. (:D)

- You’re content knowing that you actually do lead a normal and sane life. Even if it’s just a few hours in a day, while you’re asleep. (Hahaha..)

- You’re completely socially retarded when you hang out with non-medics as you don't know what to talk about besides your miserable life as a medical student. (Oh no...)

- A patient/doctor asks if you've done a procedure before (e.g. cannulation, suturing) and you say "Yes", without revealing the fact that the previous patients were plastic models. (Soon.. soon... *grins*)

- You don’t understand why summer vacation is only one month, although summer itself is three months. (Yeah loh)

- You wash your hands after meals and the loo using the 6-step technique. (Not.. YET)

- You’re secretly happy that the really smart guy stopped medical school and start complotting who next to eliminate. Just so the normal distribution skews to the left so you won’t fail. (*evil smirk*)

- Your roommate, housemate, neighbour, boyfriend, girlfriend, any close friends and practically everybody are not spared from being your simulated patient.

- You can’t wait for weekends, so that you can catch up on your readings.

- You have a list of pathologies that you don't mind dying from. Definitely not cancer though. (AGREED)

- You count the days till your next more-than-two-days-weekend-break, which is at least 4 months away. (Normally... YES...)

- "SOB" means short of breath to you. (Might be a sign of CHD...*thinks*)

- You know the size of a RBC. (7 microns in diameter LOL)

- Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year. (I think got leh...)

- It doesn't matter how much you study, there is always so much more material to learn.

- You are more familiar with last names such as Netter, Moore, Grant, Guyton, Robbins, etc than the last names of your classmates. (Hmmm...)

- You wonder when you'll have time to get married and start a family. (No joke..)

- You check the nutritional chart in the boxes of everything you eat. (!!!)

- Right before exams, you have a hard time remembering why you want to be a doctor. (You mean like.. right NOW?)

- You don't have "backpain"; you have a somatic dysfunction on .... (XD)

- When you wonder why people are giving you weird looks as your friend explains the latest perverted mnemonic to you as you sit in a cafe.

- ER begins to make sense.

- Getting a B is actually pretty damn good.

- You often mumble to yourself, “F***! Am I supposed to know that?” as soon as you see or hear about some disease/symptom/sign that you completely have no clue about. Then you blame it on the medical school for not teaching you that.